Constant Companion

I never dreamed that my life would ever be built around a dog. Honestly, I've loved animals, but I've always been pretty concerned about their fur attaching to furniture and clothes, their dirty footprints on the floor, the sticky liquid that seems to ooze from their mouths, the cost of their food, and the fact that they make me feel so guilty when I'm gone. 

We first got a cat because Lisa wanted one so badly, and then I have to admit, that I fell in love with each one that we had. Cats are pretty-low key, don't tend to make that much of a mess, and their purring is really quite soothing. They bury their own waste, eat very little, and don't seem to have their feelings hurt when you're not paying attention to them.

George and I got an Irish Setter, Shane, right after we got married. He was beautiful, slept on the bed, and roamed freely around the San Luis Obispo countryside while we were out. Once we moved to Southern California, and the kids came, poor Shane never got the same attention he had been used to. I was riddled with guilt when he died suddenly of a flea bite allergy because I just had not noticed that he was suffering while I was juggling kids, my position as a Relief Society president - and on that particular day - my friend's nine children while was she was packing for a move. I was so horrified by discovering poor Shane in the garage, that I swore I "should" never have a dog again. They just depend on their owners so much, and I didn't think I was up to it.

Brett and I talked about getting an English Setter for almost four years. We researched breeders, made careful plans about having just the right circumstances for such an active dog, and waited until we moved onto our 11-acre property. Once we got everything settled, we began meeting with Melissa Newman, from Setter Ridge, and watching the litters of puppies to be able to identify the one meant for us.

We had chosen the name Isabeau before ever meeting her. It was the "pet" name Brett called ME, based upon the movie LadyHawke. Michelle Pfeiffer played the character, Isabeau, a beautiful woman who was cursed to be a hawk during the day, while her beloved husband, Navarre, was cursed to be a wolf during the night. Isabeau was going to be our first dog, and we planned to get the second, Navarre, a Flat-Coat Retriever, shortly thereafter.

Brett left when Isabeau was only 10 months old. We had had her in our home for 8 months. Although Isabeau had trained very quickly, she was not prepared for the sudden change that would come into her young life. Having once traveled everywhere with "Dad" and been spoiled and petted by both her parents, she was now going to have to get used to doggy day care, life without Dad, and Mom gone most of the time. It was quite a shock for all of us.

I was concerned for Isabeau's quality of life, and worried about the responsibility of taking care of her needs on my own. I talked to many about the idea of giving Isabeau to someone else, and thought pretty seriously that I would follow through with that plan once the house in Carnation sold. In the meantime, I derived tremendous comfort from Izzy's steady and consistent devotion and playfulness. She's forced me to keep moving in some ways: moving literally by taking her for daily walks, but also moving ahead with making plans, going to work, etc., so that I could provide for her. Although this was never something I would have planned for for my latter years, I have come to think of "taking care of Isabeau" and her needs in the way of "I've got to get up and go to work and provide for my family." Depression and despair have been constant companions in the last two years as I have coped with "what is" in relationship to what I "thought would be," but Izzy has also been a constant companion that has made me put one foot in front another. At the end of the two years, I still feel a constant grief and sorrow, but I have also accomplished a lot, and learned to provide and care for . . . us.

I think most of my friends and family would be stunned to realize how much time I spend alone. As a working woman, I'm only available after 5:00 on weekdays, and I'm relatively free on weekends. Most of my friends and family are taking care of their own families during those hours, and just aren't available. I've gone through a tremendous adjustment from my old life filled with loved ones to this new one. It's still very, very difficult for me, and some days, I really don't want to wake up in the morning and head off to a job I don't enjoy. But, Izzy helps me through all of that. 

So, now I am an official "dog" person, or at least, I am an official "Isabeau" companion. This may be very hard to relate to for those who have known and loved me. This little freckle-faced three-year-old provides me lots of hard work, mild frustration at times, and a constant sense of love and companionship. May she live a long and healthy life, and may she find the freedom she deserves.